Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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