Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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