It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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