i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
