even my farts smell like vagina
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
