Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My vagina is officially offended.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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