You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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