Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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