is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
