I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
