did you get engaged???
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
