He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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