Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
