That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
