she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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