Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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