Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
