Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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