it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
