She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
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You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
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