wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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