It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
