It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
