apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
