OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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