Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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