My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize