I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Houston, we have a blender
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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