so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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