hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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