Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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