I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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