Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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