My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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