census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
