If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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