Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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