$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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