I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
