Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
