How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
