a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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