I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize