Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
