woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize