Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i think i just lost a toe
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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