How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
