What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
