piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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