Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
