i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
