I take back everything I said about communal showers
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
