your thong is hanging out like whoa
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
