Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
