all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
