Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
