do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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