My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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