When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
