We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
