Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
