So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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