I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
