she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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