laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
