I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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