So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
