Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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