I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
