if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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