Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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